


if happy is her

by xNailedIt



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Drinking & Talking, F/M, Heartbreaking, I'm Sorry, Sad, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xNailedIt/pseuds/xNailedIt
Summary: if you don't live through pain then you won't know happiness.





	if happy is her

**Author's Note:**

> LISTEN  
> don't like?  
> don't read.  
> There's no point in leaving negativity I will delete your comment anyways.
> 
> Maybe you think this is disrespectful to them, maybe I'm going to hell for this but hey u can't stop me.  
> I'm writing real life people as fictional characters, I would never attack his wife or his rumored baby I hope he's happy! 
> 
> END OF DISCLAIMER
> 
> proceed i hope u like:3

She let out a puff of smoke. 

She didn't smoke. She hadn't smoked casually in years. The last time she lit a cigarette was probably in her rebellious phase in high school. When she got a tattoo and wanted to be a cool kid. 

When she thought it was hard being a teenager and life was unfair. Well, life is unfair, damn right. If it was unfair then- hell, then what is it now? 

She didn't understand that need she felt to buy packets lately. Or, maybe she did and it was easier not acknowledging it. Because it wasn't an old-habits-die-hard situation. 

"Aren't you gonna say anything?" His deep voice rang in her ears.

The silence was dead. This whole day felt like death. There was a chill in the air and the sky was gray, cloudy. Something in her mood was trembling ever since she woke up. She knew she would meet with him today and she had felt it in her bones that it was not going to be pleasant. 

Her gaze didn't leave the clouds, her eyes simply wavered. "I'm happy for you."

 

* * *

 

 

Being famous came with spending periods of time in hotel rooms. But right now, she was at her place. She had invited some of the cast there, for a party. Parties are good; parties are fun. Time-wise this was before the filming of the Last Jedi. She was still in a rush, from the hit that was the first movie and how it changed her life. 

One of the people in her house was of course, her peanut. John, a person she bonded with, was a sort of a best friend. Funny as shit, he was. She had invited Oscar too, since he was a part of the experience and the trio. Finally, she had invited Adam. 

It was strange with Adam. He had a complex aura, she wanted to know more about him, she wanted to be as comfortable with him as she was with the others but something just wouldn't budge between them. 

It was like this dangerous tension, a thunderstorm every time she dared to look his way in an interview and he caught her eye, making her look away.

Maybe it was the fact that he was older, that he was more experienced, maybe even the fact that she admired his acting. She was cheerful and bubbly, he was composed and in his own way, humorous. 

She didn't even think he'd turn up, actually. He was usually busy- that's not to be taken as sarcastic mind you. He also had a wife. She supposed he had a better way to spend his evening than hanging out in her room with some co-workers. 

But apparently, not.

She was surprised but delighted to see him, suddenly she realized the absence of nerves before he arrived. 

As if they were teens, they were sitting around with a bunch of unhealthy snacks and watching a horror movie on the room's TV. No one was taking it seriously, she was full-time laughing at something John said or at what Oscar pointed out. She hadn't talked to Adam much, he mostly chatted with Oscar if he did. 

There was a point where the jokes died out and the movie got to it's peak. Out nowhere came a baby voice, mocking the screams of the characters. Then, in a deep voice, "Jesus Christ, run you little shits!"

Daisy stopped chewing on her popcorn and started having a wheezing laugh. It built up and just erupted. "Oh my gosh," She said touching the corners of her eyes. 

Thankfully, she wasn't the only one that had laughed or that would have been awkward. 

A little later, she closed the TV and they started playing some CD's. John and Oscar started a small chat about music. "I know next to nothing about music these days." Adam said sincerely.

She turned to him. "You're kidding." She had a smile at the corners of her lips.

"Uh- no, actually." 

She grinned, sitting more comfortably in the couch. "So, you only listen to old music then?" Her eyes were wide with interest. 

 "Well, uh- I wouldn't say 'only' old music, but mainly yes. Not like incredibly old just," 

"90's, 80's and stuff like that?" She tried. 

One side of his mouth curled upwards. "Yeah, yeah."

She nodded, taking it in, glad that they were talking, longer than five seconds, about something more personal than scenes and scripts or any of that. 

"I get it." She smiled warmly and sat back. She noticed the boys had stopped their chat. An uncomfortable silence was building up and she wanted to tear it down. "So you're not interested in modern music, then?" 

She knew she was probably milking this topic but if it was all she was gonna get, she was gonna make the most of it.

He shrugged. "It's not that, it's... I don't think I'll enjoy it." 

She widened her mouth in humor and said in her little British accent, "Have you tried it?"

He coughed a chuckle. "Uh a- a bit."

She hummed. She had an idea and she hoped it would work. "Okay," She sat upright. "As a fan of old and new music alike, what do you say I give you something to listen to? If you don't like it you can just stick to your guns." She tilted her head, fighting the nervousness trying to eat her up. 

He blinked many times and inhaled deeply. "Sure, yeah, why not."

 

A couple of phone calls, a few text messages and a month and a half later, they were inside her hotel room, the music loud. Adam was loving the tracks she had given him, they were enough to make him dance in his own Adam-Driver-way that made her giggle. 

She didn't question their growing closeness, she accepted it and went along. 

 

_you were dancing in your tube socks_

_in our hotel room_

 

She decided his laugh was a sound that she liked. It made her cheeks hurt from smiling. Every thing that did that, was special. She didn't question the way his eyes glimmered even though they were dark. It was another thing she went along with. 

 

_flashing those eyes_

_like highway signs_

 

* * *

 

The next day they were going to start filming the Bond scenes from Rey's perspective. 

She was laying in bed, trying to get the sleep she knew she was going to need. In the morning she had arrived in Ireland. With him. Paparazzi had taken photos of them at the airport and she was sure fans were already theorizing why Rey and Kylo would be on the island. 

The trip itself was not bad at all. 

She had reached a point with Adam where she could talk to him without feeling like she was going to pass out. A point where she thought that perhaps they were becoming friends. 

She thought back to when they had that weird fun time with her playlist. She was relieved that he liked what she showed him. 

You could say, the ice was broken, but not completely melted. 

It was early summer and she wasn't cold. But she still wrapped herself in the white sheets the room acquired. 

When it came to the script, at first she didn't know what to do with it. Way too much of it was with Adam. She had almost zero scenes with John and that had made her anxious. 

After a lot of thinking and rereading and thinking and rereading, she figured it was better this way. She was not going to have John around every time she filmed a movie, he couldn't be her crunch and besides, the story was so interesting in this direction. 

She knew about the pairing of their characters. And she could admit she found it a little endearing. Perhaps more than a little. She wondered if that truly was where the trilogy was going to end.

With Ben and Rey together? Would they kiss? Would she have to kiss Adam? 

She was starting to regret those sheets, she was starting to feel sweaty. It was logical, I mean, it's summer, heat waves and stuff.

She turned over again. 

A small voice spoke in her head. He was in his Kylo mood. Being a method actor, he had a certain behavior during filming. After it was over, would they be back to not talking? Will the ice come back up? 

She didn't think that him being the last thing she thought about before sleeping was a big deal. 

She huffed and tried to find the perfect spot for the tenth time. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep. 

 

* * *

 

Soon enough, the film was done. 

 Like The Force Awakens, it was time for the Wrap Party. 

She came in, all glam'ed up with John by her side. She was confident, she knew she looked good and she wore her usual toothy grin. 

Kelly was a wonderful addition to the crew, she liked her. Sitting around with her and a few more of the cast, she said, "You guys are the only people I can talk about this movie with. For over a year. Oh God. Here we go again." 

They laughed. Under the lights, not everything was visible. But she stood and walked to the bar, to get herself a drink like everyone else. 

Upon the sight of the people waiting to be served she made a face. Inspecting the sides of the vibrant area she neared the entrance. Asking the barman a few questions, she smiled and entered. 

She used to work at pubs for a year. She knows the flow. Maybe she's crazy, but this was a party, wasn't it? She made herself a drink and then made drinks for the ones waiting. 

To be honest, she was enjoying herself. Really. A passing thought reminded her of Adam. She hadn't seen him yet. She guessed he wasn't too much of a party fan anyways. 

Putting the bottle back to its place she looked up. In the growing dark, she saw his face, a good-natured smirk on his mouth and a spark in his dark eyes. 

She had no explanation as to why her heart raced. Probably the alcohol. Her brows moved up. "Adam!" She exclaimed. 

"Daisy. Uhm, what are you doing behind there?" 

She opened her mouth like a fish and then closed it. She laughed lightly. "I just saw the line and I got terrified so I thought, why not move here? I've worked at pubs before, you know?"

She was so dumb, no, he didn't know that. "Oh. I didn't know that. That's- great." She laughed. He chuckled.  

"So," She threw her arms up. "Are you getting anything?" 

Something in his face darkened and he cleared his throat. "Yes, um, should I order to you?" 

She nodded, eager. "Yeah."

He ordered two beverages. At first she didn't catch up to why. Then, she gave them to him. And she watched as he thanked her and went to find a blonde woman. 

Her lips parted, taken completely by surprise. But of course, he brought his wife. The blonde woman was definitely Joanne Tucker. 

It suddenly dawned on her that she had not, not once, asked about his wife. In all the time they had spent together. 

Daisy looked away, she looked down on the counter. She didn't understand why she was feeling so troubled. Her eyes pierced her plum drink. Before she knew what she was doing, she was bringing it to her lips and swallowing it down.

She walked to the bottles and picked out a vodka. Thankfully she was way over the age restriction. She filled her glass and exited the bar. 

She was done playing barwoman. 

 

 

_white sheets, bright lights,_

_crooked teeth and the_

_nightlife. you told me_

_this is right where it begins_

 

 


End file.
